Frank and his friend Alan go way back, they get on well and have few disagreements, but the one thing they will always disagree on, it coffee or tea.
And one day Alan is visiting frank at his flat, and and as their usual arugment about why Frank didn’t prepare any coffee rages on, something new happens, Alan, reveals a gift he’s bought for frank, a simple ornate box, in which there lies a cucake, decorated with the simple, inviting and yet, perhaps slightly sinister words……….Eat Me!
Frank is face with a choice, does he eat the thing marked Eat me, or does he somehow distrust his friend.
But what did he choose…………..?
World 1 – Consumption, Chaos and Coffee Cravings.
Frank ate that thing marked “Eat me”, part of Alan’s cunning plan to settle this debate once and for all! After recovering from the initial symptoms of such powerful psycho-active magic, (Speaking in tongues followed by a heart attack) the true effect, an intense love of coffee and an in-depth knowledge of all 17 varieties of coffee .
This fuels a caffeine infused mania, in which our 2 friends scour the coffee shops of England, sampling each variety and heightening their buzz until their levels of energy reach dangerous levels.
Realising the horror of the addiction he has unleashed upon his friend, Alan seeks help before it’s too late and visits the Bureau of caffeine addiction protection, who inform him there is only 1 way to save his friend from a life of percolated doom, he needs to be miniaturized, small enough to be injected into Frank’s body and solve the problem……from within!
After battling through the mucus of the lungs, fighting the tides in the arteries and narrowly avoiding being sucked into the kidney for cleansing, he finally makes it to the pancreas.
There he finds Caffeine personified, in the form of a hideous Brewspawn waiting to battle Alan for the soul of his friend.
But is this the world our audience chose to make real, or was it………….
World 2 – Confrontation, Conversion and Chillaxing.
Frank wasn’t going to fall for any of this, he knew something was up and didn’t trust this so called “gift” at all. As the depts of Alan’s plans became clear Frank realised he needed to do something, luckily he had a syringe handy of his Most Relaxing blend of Tea ready for just such an occasion.
Having subdued Alan he increases the pressure, candles, incense, an Enya Cd, anything he can do to increase the relaxation factor, and once the conversion process is complete they then set-off to create their perfect utopia, growing their own tea and they can just lounge together while it grows.
But something is missing, Frank realizes this tee is missing something, it’s nice and all, but it’s missing a certain……..human touch.
After experimenting with the techniques of genetic grafting Frank stumbles upon Alan in a cammomile induced stupor and realizes the time for experimentation is now, he waits till Alan is assleep and then splices his friend’s DNA with that of the tea and sets him up a nice little bed in the soil.
But which world did our audience choose?
A Fertilised Friend and the rise of Humani-Tea!
The genetic manipulation takes hold and Alan starts to “become the tea”, stuck, feet, quite literally, rooted in the soil, dreaming of the day he can escape and meet the PG tips monkey, all Alan can really do is stay, grow and listen as Frank “talks to his plants”. When the first harvest is ready Frank gleefully sits down to enjoy his latest brew. A lovel cup of Humani-Tea!
Carried Away Improv 